Friday, May 27, 2011

Wrong, wrong, wrong. All kinds of wrong.

Oh seriously.

I thought I had seen some bad wedding photos.

Then I found THIS little collection.


Thursday, May 26, 2011

Does the 5 second rule apply to wedding cake?

As if you needed another reason not to smush cake in each other's faces.

Some advice? Feed a nice little bite to your new spouse and go back to dancing.  Skip the insipid cake fight.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

This took some planning...

There are plenty of bad marriage proposal ideas out there, many of which are caught on video. Here is one that could have ended very, VERY badly.

But it didn't.

I'll be back with more bad stuff soon! (Be sure to send yours in...)

Friday, May 20, 2011

3 hours of hair and make-up.... undone in 3 seconds.

If the Best Man from yesterday's post was in trouble for being an idiot, this guy is just going to get tarred and feathered for being clumsy.


How do you bounce back from that?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Best Man ain't got no game. (Because he's an idiot.)

Erin at Peony Wire Works does amazing things with chicken wire.  It also appears that she is often invited weddings and has been witness to several wacky wedding situations.  She'll be sharing several of them with us.

First, I'd like to say that I am not a redneck.  I am however surrounded by questionable people (okay, some idiots), but that is not a reflection of me as a person.  Instead, I'd like to look at these  stories as lessons learned, or knowledge gained.  Please enjoy them for what they are... What KNOT To Do...

I think that I should have known that my track record with weddings was off to a shaky start when I was 16.    My sister was getting married, and I was Maid of Honor.  The groom chose his best friend as his Best Man.  The Best Man was 21 and I had known him forever.   

During the rehearsal dinner, the Best Man kept hitting on me.  Because I had known him for such a long time, I knew he was an idiot.  I repeatedly told him "No!" and kept trying to ignore his advances.  

The next day at the wedding, while we were standing up for the bride and groom, he continued to hit on me.  During their vows!  In front of the entire church full of people!  were up on a little stage for the vows portion, in front of a church full of people.  As the couple were saying their vows, the Best Man was mouthing words to me about us hooking up later...and yes there was some inappropriate hand gesturing on his part.

People stopped paying attention to the vows and turned their attention to the Best Man.  People were starting to laugh and the bride and groom became aware of what was going on.  My poor sister was barely holding it together, but the groom thought it was hilarious.  

I think that should have been the moment my sister knew it wouldn't last. 

It didn't.

Holy Jack-Assery! Who does that!?  Seriously!  

Thanks for sharing this story Erin! We're looking forward to your next tale of wedding woe!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here... to give you a lecture.

Jayna Rae is a witty, fashionable, and crafty lady who writes the blog RockNRegalia.  She was kind enough to share the following story with us....

In January of 2006 I attended my cousin's wedding in Minnesota. Brrrr . . . a cold time for a wedding. That is not the bad part though.

No. No. The bad part is what the minister said during the service. I mean I was absolutely floored.

There he is, marrying my cousin to her high school sweet heart, a man who she had dated for several years, and the minister essentially admonishes them in front of the entire congregation of guests. What did he say? Well, my cousin and her husband had a daughter who was already two at the time, and he began to discuss the ills of pre-marital sex in the midst of their ceremony. Yes, I am serious. If he had a problem with this, then he should not have agreed to marry them. He should have recommended another pastor, or he could have discussed this with them at a time prior to the ceremony.
I felt so embarrassed for my cousin, her husband, their daughter, but most importantly for the minister. It is the person who espouses ignorance that deserves the most pity. He just didn't realize that he permanently would look foolish, as there was a video of the ceremony being made; isn't this typically the case. 

Anyway, like a good woman my cousin kept her calm on her wedding day. I think if it had been any other day he would have seen a different side of her. 

So, dear ministers of the world, if you do not agree with an aspect of a union then DO NOT PERFORM the union. At the very least, keep it to yourself during the ceremony. It is the couple's day, not yours.

Just so we understand.... the minister lectured a couple about sex before marriage...?  When they already had a child together...?  .... And during the wedding ceremony...?    Wow.  That must have been a super awkward ceremony to sit through.  

Thanks for sharing this one Jayna Rae, and if you have a scary/awkward/obnoxious wedding related story, please submit it. 

Monday, May 16, 2011

What KNOT to wear.

Weddings can come with enough rules of etiquette to choke a horse.  While some of it might be out-dated, much of it should still be upheld.

A great rule of thumb?   No one wants to see your ass.
If your cellulite and micro-mini are fighting for position, you should not wear it to a wedding!   (Or anywhere, for that matter.)
This gal pretty much has a black band-aid across her butt.  Dis-reeee-spectful!  All eyes should be on the bride, not on your hot mess of a bad clubbing outfit.  
You're scaring the kids.  Put some pants on.